NaBloPoMo project canceled

Hi,
even though it saddens me to announce this, the project I embarked with NaBloPoMo was ill-fated. I have become a UNSW and as such the Orientation Week has taken a lot out of my life. So I haven't been able to post anything these past days. This breaks the posting linearity and regularity that NaBloPoMo enforces, so I herein announce that I will abandon the project guidelines yet still be a member of NaBloPoMo, and keep on posting on Dot Counterpoint Dot.

I am very sorry, mostly for myself, and for any readers out there.

But I've just been having the greatest time of my life, the best week EVAR. Just too busy, too little free time.

Thanks to all.

Moving out

Damnit!! I missed yesterday's post!!! RRRRRRGHGHGHRGHRHGRH!!!
Oh well, I was incredibly busy working with my packing for my transition to UNSW.
It's going to be such an incredible thing being over there.

I might come back home to get more stuff, if needed.

So now I'm just getting stuff into the car, and getting ready to go to bed for an early morning. Warm, light breakfast. Some bacon, toast, maybe some oatmeal, apple, grapefruit juice, something like that. Then I move out.

And then New College.
And then O-week.
And then uni starts!!!

New template... perhaps?

Well I was just thinking that maybe I should get a new template.
It's not that the present template is bad or anything.
I think it gives Counterdots its vibe.

But maybe I could give more oomph to the site by giving it a different template, maybe something more original, yet simple and minimal.
And because I am an eco-freak (but not an eco-warrior) I tend to use black as the background, for the sake of saving electricity. So I'll have to see what I can come up with. I know that Blogger isn't as good as WordPress, but I still think there's quite a community out there that produces quality templates for this blogging service.

I'll have to look around.
This kind of reminds me of the time I was updating my other blog's template just about every month or so. It was crazy. Then I posted screenshots of the blog as it changed, and saw how it developed and transformed and such.

I won't do that with Dot Counterpoint Dot, that's for sure.
Maybe I could create an icon for the site, that would be cool.

But right now I'm extra busy with my moving to UNSW. There's so much stuff to organize and so much crap to throw away. It's incredible the amount of things that I have accumulated these 2 and a half years here in Australia.
Off I go back to pack.

0.0EV part 2

This finalizes my 0.0EV experimental project.
Con ésto completo el proyecto experimental 0.0EV.

18 of the 2 of the 10

Mi mejor amigo está sufriendo de una situación de salud.
Nadie está seguro si saldrá completamente bien de las cirugías que va a tener. Existe el riesgo que termine peor.

Aún así él está afrontando el peligro frente a frente. Si todo sale bien él saldrá viviendo más años que yo, seguramente.

Espero que todo vaya bien.
Temo que lo peor está por suceder.
Pero espero que él pueda retomar su bienestar como antes y estar sobre el escenario otra vez,
cantando y tocando la música que forma su vida entera.

Mis deseos y mis plegarias de bienestar van para ti Jay Scott.
Éxito en el camino que tienes por delante mi amigo.

When I arrive downtown...

Something strange happens to me when I get to downtown Sydney, the CBD,
when I get off a bus, or ascend from the underground train,
my spirit elevates up high.

I suddenly become very happy,
quite ecstatic,
as if I was empowered by this unknown energy of warmth and joy.

And I smile.

And I laugh,

while everyone else is minding their own business and looking down at the pavement,
or typing madly into their Blackberries or iPhones.



This happens to me just about every time I travel to downtown Sydney.
And I don't know why.

Oh, and today I bought Bibio's new album, "The Apple and The Tooth". The first songs are just incredible, musically junky and noisy but nonetheless very rhythmic and upbeat. And the remixes are really good as well, some of them aren't as good as the originals, but there are some that simply transform the songs they are based upon. I recommend this album only if you've heard Bibio's previous albums.

Stalking Cat

Oh gawd no... I did it again!
I missed another post! >.<    Now that's bad, this shouldn't have happened.
However I'm much better now. Injuries are healing up pretty good, they're gonna leave a pretty large scar there.
That should be a pretty good story for my grandchildren...  that is if I ever have any children at all.

In any case, as an internet citizen there are some things that I find really amusing and that I would like to share. On occasions, those things are quite embarrassing for me to share, they just expose a bit of the things that I look at on the internets. This video however just shows how boring some Japanese tend to get in their cramped homes and decide to film just about anything. There ya' go.



And no I don't like cats. They are amusing and selfish, but that's about it.

0.0EV part 1

I've been experimenting.. again. This time it's with the PSP Camera.
He estado experimentando un poco... otra vez. Pero esta vez es con la cámara de la PSP.

Late @ Night

Some weeks ago the Moon was its closest to the Earth for this year.
Mars was pretty close as well. So it was easily visible. You could even see some red in Mars.
The Moon was so bright that the sky seemed to have a slight dark blue tone to it. Nearly like a second Sun!

Hace unas semanas la luna estaba a su mínima distancia con la Tierra en este año.
Marte también estaba bastante cerca, así que se podía distinguir un tono rojizo característico del planeta marciano.
La luna era tan brillante esa noche que el cielo tenía un tono ligeramente azul. Casi casi como si fuese otro sol!












This night I'll try to get a glimpse of the ISS, but weather is very bad. I might miss it.

Día de San Valentín

Wow, it's been more than a year since I started this blog. The first official post was here in http://counterdots.blogspot.com/2009/02/towards-valentines.html just a bit over a year ago.

It feels much more than that, more like two years.

And what an interesting coincidence that it's Saint Valentine's Day today, well maybe not a coincidence.
Maybe it's just Single Awareness Day.
Ugghh here I go again.

It's been a lonely adventure that I've had these past 4 months, possibly the longest holidays I've ever had in my life. Just too much time in my hands... it was incredible. I'm now willing to do something now for the sake of catching up with the time lost... well not really lost... but rather spent with the extreme of tranquility.

Of course, it has been four months of learning, failing and succeeding, a lot has happened. Now that I think of it, that's practically a third of a year gone by... wow. Time does go faster as one ages.

One thing however hasn't changed, since I was 15. Even since I was 15, I've always avoided February 14th like the plague. Surely, one day like this one is just like any other one. It's just that people are more aware of certain things. Those things are what grind my gears. People are always going "Wow St.Valentine's!! And.. uhm.. who are you gonna send a flower to.. dude?" And I'm like... "hmmmm I'm not really in the mood" or "I'm too poor to afford 'em".

バカメ！ That's just plain excuses. Surely, people out there, from my parents to girls who were completely mad about me, really wish the best for me, and I acknowledge it entirely. And I also acknowledge that I have failed them and myself. I've been unlucky to unwrap myself from the cages of my spirit which have prevented me from doing what is considered normal.. well normal is overrated.
What I mean is that the fact that I don't have a girlfriend right now means one thing. I'm still afraid of going towards the unknown. Surely, when one falls in love with someone, one is betting against all the odds and uncertainties that a relationship with another person may offer. When one is exposed in such away, completely open to the other person's will and power, that's when I get into trouble. I get into a conflict with my own personality and behavior that I suddenly recede from this world. Say, I shut off completely.

Hiding I guess?

"So hey, how's D going?"
"Hmmm. I don't know. He hasn't spoken to me today at all. He's acting very strangely lately."

It's a great deal of worry for me and for the people who have had a really deep look into my soul.
I've lost many awesome chances to be with great people. I've also lost some friendships that way.
You could say that in order to protect myself from pain, I accidentally hurt others intrinsically. But I intend to seek their care, their warmth, their love. However, the weapons that I have unconsciously spawned around myself to protect my integrity are what cause this problem. I am afraid of being hurt, and with the unknown surrounding the path ahead of me, I succumb to fear and recede, and the people that I intend to be closer with end up hurt. I become distant of what causes this uncertainty, that which really shakes up my mind and I try to run away of. In the end, two people end up with broken hearts with no reasonable explanation.
Hedgehog's dilemma.

The problem is, I simply have had no idea of the real nature of such unknown in them. I don't know their intentions.

Everybody has a universe inside them. Some are big, some are small. Some are in development, some are incredibly huge. When people connect, these universes mix with each other, like parallel universes that collide and unite. The outcome of this offers an infinite number of results.

I also have the problem of not having enough faith in other people.
And not having enough faith in myself. That's what really kills me.
I sometimes lack the courage, and despite it being a human thing to happen, it's just plain annoying.
There are so many things that could have happened during my life, despite it being just 20 years since my birth, that could have made my life so much more interesting, fun, perhaps even better, perhaps just worse.
Sometimes the decisions that me make, however small and insignificant, can have enormous repercussions in the future.

I just hope that one day, I will be able to break from this mistrust and fear that's caging me.

I just hope that one day, I will be able to pull myself together to bond with someone else.
I just hope that one day, I will be able to celebrate St. Valentine's Day just like everyone else, be normal I guess (normal is overrated). Then I can make other singles feel like squirming inside (mwahahaha).

Hitting rock bottom

I feel as if I left myself down.
I just injured myself today at work, pretty seriously but nothing life-threatening.
My infection has receded quite a lot but is still present within my system. It'll go away soon.

I just hope I can get myself out of this vortex of gloom and darkness that I have put myself into.

I'll keep pressing on! There's still way too much life ahead of me to surrender now!
See ya tomorrow.

Uh oh...

I'm basically cured from my lung problems, phlegm is much less recurrent and I don't need to blow my nose as often.

But the pain is still there, but at a much lower area in my body. It's way too below from the lungs that it just can't be considered borne from within the lungs, as a lung infection.
My prediction is that now the problem is with my left kidney.

However, my predictions are much less plausible than the observations of a professional. I shall get this problem checked as soon as possible. This is driving me crazy!!

Problema resuelto - Problem resolved

Hi, Hola,
Recently I discovered that all comments in my blog would appear black on top of the page's black background, which meant that they would be impossible to read unless you dragged over with the mouse. I checked with the Help guys in Blogger and confirmed a solution which has resolved with the problem.

Now everyone can read the comments that everyone and I leave.
If you are following this blog, I kindly appreciate the comments you leave behind.
I'd like to expand my network with other blogs, so please invite me to other blogs to meet new people. :D

Reciéntemente descubrí que todos los comentarios en mi blog estaban en negro. Y como el fondo del sitio es en negro, eso significaba que los comentarios no podían ser leídos a menos de que pasabas con el mouse sobre el texto y apretabas el botón izq. He checado con Blogger y he encontrado una solución para este problema. Ya se ha arreglado el asunto y sus comentarios ya son visibles.

Si usted está siguiendo este blog, yo le agradecería de todo corazón si dejase algún comentario. Y para los que ya lo han hecho, les agradezco a ustedes también. Me gustaría ampliar mis vínculos con más blogs, así que invítenme a conocer blogs interesante y más gente de la blogósfera.

Gracias! Thanks a lot!

Lonely is the new dance party

DISCLAIMER: I am not a sicko who takes pictures of girls and sells them on the internet / fap to them. OK?! Does "I'm a photographer, not a terrorist" ring a bell? This is for the sake of art. As an amateur photographer, I am trying to experiment with "light gathering" in low light environments such as those of a nightclub. These photographs are not intended to criticize, expose indecently, demoralize, insult or do any harm to anyone. These pictures must not be judged in any other way other than as art. So, enjoy these "photographic accidents". Oh, and these photographs are copyrighted via Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.0 Generic.



























Disfrute! If you want more (si quiere ver más), check my flickr account (cheque mi cuenta en flickr): http://www.flickr.com/photos/haiiroproject/

La vi otra vez

Maldición.

Hoy la vi otra vez.
Esta vez estábamos más cerca que antes, como a menos de 6 metros de distancia.
Yo estaba preparando un paquete que iba a mandar por correo, cargándolo en una bolsa blanca grande de plástico.
Iba cruzando una calle y luego pasé a la esquina de un edificio.
Ahí fue cuando la vi.
En el transcurso de una diminuta fracción de un segundo mi mente empezó a mandar señales de emergencia.
No sé si me miró en aquel instante.
Dí un giro de 180 grados lo más rápido posible. Agarré la bolsa fuertemente con mi mano, con el corazón saliéndose de mi pecho y mi garganta hecho un nudo. No sé si estuve respirando, si acaso mis ojos estaban abiertos o si mis pies eran los que me estaban guiando sin control.
Caminé rápidamente hacia las escaleras eléctricas más cercanas.
No entiendo por qué lo hice.

No tengo idea si ella tiene odio hacia mí.
No sé si tiene curiosidad por saber del por qué me olvidé de ella, del por qué nuestros planes de andar juntos simplemente se desplomaron silenciosamente en el misterio.
La última vez que hablamos fue en octubre, hace un chingo de tiempo.
No he vuelto a dirigirle la palabra desde entonces. La he checado en su cuenta de Facebook, aún me tiene como amigo, pero no nos hemos comunicado de ninguna manera últimamente.

Pero lo que me mata es el remordimiento.
Ya lo he mencionado en un post anterior, pero siento que la he traicionado de alguna manera.
Quizás me traicioné a mi mismo.

Y sí, debería confrontarla y decirle la verdad de lo que siento.
No es que la odie, no es que no me guste.
En parte temo de lo que ella piense. Temo que me destruya.
Pero no puedo poner en un enunciado lo que yo siento. Es oscuro y difícil de interpretar.
¿Por qué le tengo tanto miedo?
¿Acaso tengo miedo de desarrollar una amistad con alguien como ella?

Sí que estoy hecho un desmadre por dentro.



Estoy prácticamente curado hoy. Aún seguiré con el tratamiento para asegurarme que el cabrón haya desaparecido. Vaya, esta es la primera vez que uso un lenguaje tan florido como este. Se siente muy extraño.

Another day

Hmmmm..


Éste día ha sido como cualquier otro.
Lento.
Callado.
Tranquilo.

Mi salud ha mejorado, estoy satisfecho por el efecto los antibióticos han tenido sobre mi infección y espero tener una recuperación total la próxima semana.

Últimamente he estado viendo NASA Tv y checando cómo va la misión del transbordador espacial. Todo ha salido muy bien. Es la penúltima misión del transbordador Endeavour, así que me gustaría estar al tanto de todo lo que sucede.

Iba a ver el lanzamiento del satélite Solar Dynamics Observatory, pero mientras lo estaba viendo detuvieron el conteo a 2 hours and holding. Y yo estuve así de ... pues cuánto tiempo va a tomar para que continuén con el conteo?.... treinta minutos?  Que hueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeba. Jajajaja.
Ahora voy a subir fotos a flickr

Oh God, it had to happen one day.

Antibiotic treatment is going ok.
I feel just fine, slightly weakened from the antibiotic but I feel OK.

Now, I have to admit I am a 東方(touhou) fan. It really embarrasses me to tell people that I'm that guy who's into anime and that kind of things. Luckily, I'm not a complete freak, I'm not a goddamn otaku (thank you God!!).

But Touhou is right now the Biggest thing in Japan. The internet community over there is just exploding with fan made material based from it. And you wonder.. "what is touhou?" Just google it, look it up on youtube. Chances are you'll find something that will make you laugh and go wtf while having a brainf*ck.

To summarize, Touhou is a videogame where chicks shoot colorful bullets which also shoot more bullets at you. More like a shoot 'em up game with heaps of colorful 2D graphics. The thing is, the game is just unbelievably hard. And by hard I mean that the bullets come at you in continuous waves that form patterns in your screen. So when you play, instead of being a shoot-to-kill game it is more like a HOLY-SHIT-HOW-DO-I-GET-THE-FUCK-OUT-OF-THE-WAY kind of game.



The game has tons of characters, which means heaps material for fans to make stuff with.
And it also has pretty cool music, which is what brings most of the fans together. Doodles and comics is what makes the majority of the fan-based content but music based from the game's music is also a great thing that appears all the time on the internet and keeps fans busy.

I guess that if you use Youtube a lot you are very likely to have been RickRolled, and there's a chance that you've been McRolled as well. Well, the music that McRolled is based on comes from Touhou. No, Touhou did not rip the music off McRolled, McRolled ripped the music off from Touhou. And it's just such a hit over there. (Seriously, the guy who made the game, music and characters is basically a millionaire. He's an alcohol-lover, a bad drawer and likely to be a pedo (just kidding)).

And some japs have made a video about that same tune, but put along with custom-made Mario World levels. AWESOME!!

And that's my reason to blog for today. I might add more Touhou related stuff in the future, but I just can't afford being embarrassed on the internet. Seriously. I cannot even afford to show my Touhou remix music collection to my friends, some who are even anime fans. It's not that the music is bad, it's actually quite good and original, but it just makes me cringe to know that people I know are aware of what Touhou involves as part of the internet community. Oh gawd.

2 + 8 = 10

This day has been pretty busy.
In the morning my sis called on Skype and we watched the Super Bowl opening ceremony which was awesome. My sis held her laptop facing towards the tv and tuned to CBS. Then we watched it together until the ceremony ended. That was when I had to leave to school.

I know, I'm off school and everything related to school is now ancient history to me. But I still went to get a speech that I made checked. You see, I worked hard enough last year in order to obtain a high ATAR rank, which is a ranking system for students who are applying for university. I got a pretty high one, to my entire surprise. The school's careers adviser had asked the higher ranked students to make a speech. But all of them refused to do so. Some of them aren't that good at public speaking, they are a bit shy, and maybe not that perfect in English. So I stepped in, I will be just more than happy to come back on stage as a graduate and an ex-school captain and address the assembly, along with my friends on stage. It makes me remember of my days of a school captain.

Later I went over to Warringah Mall to see a doctor. My fever has basically disappeared. But I now have a lung inflammation that is causing pressure inside my torax. So now I'm taking antibiotics and am looking closely at my health. I hope all goes fine. My parents aren't happy, and probably not surprised, however.

To finalize the day, I watched the launch of STS-130, Space Shuttle Endeavour's penultimate launch. Last night the launch was canceled because of bad atmospheric weather which would cause complications during launch. So they rescheduled the launch for tonight. It was an incredibly smooth launch, perfect to say at least. I watched it live on NASA TV and followed it through Twitter. Finally, I have a pragmatic use for Twitter! It gave me heaps of side info regarding the preparations and other procedures, stuff that wasn't discussed or mentioned during the tv broadcast.

I do remember though, after Endeavour reached orbit, NASA was putting on some replays of the launch. And in between those replays I remember listening to one of the comentators who had left her microphone on by accident. Maybe she was just getting ready for what she was going to say in the following seconds, but still, what followed was quite loud and clear. She sighed gently and  I could hear her say "My legs are so sore." I was not surprised, but I still laughed. Those people had been up all night getting ready for a mission that had about a 60% chance of being "go'ed" for launch. So after a successful launch, they really deserve a break. Well done NASA! And my wishes of luck go to the Endeavour and her Mission Specialists.

Off to bed now, gotta get ready for a beautiful day tomorrow :D

---Oh, image taken from NASA's website. I assume that it belongs to the public domain, but I'm not sure!---

About my taste in music

{Sorry, I don't do tl;dr.}

Naturally, as a son of a musician, music is and has always been a great influence in my life. It has accompanied me during the brightest and the darkest times of my life, given the many strange things that I've seen/heard/felt some sort of tangible meaning, and made me appreciate the little things in life.

But I've noticed that my taste in music is distinctively different to many people, mostly because it just covers a wide range of genres, eras and styles, and also that I have my set of "rules" when it comes to music. And I've also noticed that people have different ways in which they listen to music. Some people, like me, focus in melody or rhythm, while others focus on lyrics and musical "hooks".

I guess that I might begin with my music rules. Firstly, if the music that I hear has any musical instruments that can be played by a human being (as in, actually play it, tangibly hold the instrument, etc.) then it must not, under any circumstance, be substituted by electronic music synths. I ABHOR listening to a violin, a trumpet, a guitar, EVEN HUMAN VOICE (I hereby declare myself an enemy of any Vocaloid fan/producer/developer/user), that comes from a computer or machine. Not only is it wrong and unnatural, but it is simple torture to the ears. But, hey, I know that musicians who can play those instruments are expensive, so record labels/artists sometimes go the cheap and easy way. Sometimes you can't blame them.


As I mentioned earlier, I've realized that people listen to music differently. First off, I was born and raised among classical musicians and classical music. I wasn't introduced to the real rock stuff until I was like 16 or 17. So I have this tendency to like soft, tranquil and good-sounding music, such as ambient and classical itself. But I have an emphasis on melody and rhythm, so then electronic music kicks in. Hence I like trance (for its soulfulness and progressive inter-melodious-phases (what a mouthful)), techno (rhythm and melody), drum & bass (for their artistic play with all audible frequencies and mostly for rhythm. But since the newer d&b bands are crap I stopped listening to d&b), and experimental/minimalism (this one is for rhythm). Glitch, gabber, happy hardcore and electro-rock/electro-pop can all go to hell. They are the abomination, the sick child of electronic music.

There is also a trend that I have noticed within music that is "commercial", or that which is aired on radio 24/7 and gets tops of sales, and which generally sucks. It's a fact that such commercial music gets sold solely because of the "hooks" that it has. By "hooks" I mean the combination of melody, rhythm and lyrics that sticks to your brain and it just won't let go. "Hooks" are predominantly present in music we consider as cheesy. I am not completely against commercial music, sometimes some songs of such type end up being my favorites. And I admit that a lot of people like music like that. It's just that sometimes that music is just plain annoying and gives me headaches. But I have a tendency to appreciate music that may sometimes has no hook whatsoever. Sometimes when I share my music to people they go: "wow, this is just boring", or "why is there so much repetition in this song? there is no theme or hook to it" or even "I can't believe that this can even be considered as music". Sometimes I listen to music as I would look at a painting by Pollock. Sometimes the art medium may be profusely mixed and messed up, without order, without sense, but I can appreciate such art by ignoring the confusion and the sense of senselessness, and enjoy it in its full splendor without looking at the minute details of its apparently destructive construction. Like, half ignore, half look at attentively. That's how I listen to ambient music, and that's how I manage to listen to post-rock hardcore (although I am still in a training process to fully appreciate such style). I can listen to Philip Glass and still like Alexisonfire, music styles that are completely millions of miles apart from each other.

As an example:




When I share my Philip Glass music collection to people they go: "What the hell is this music? Such repetition is just horrible!" And then I come back with: "Well, that music that you listen too is just as repetitive and annoying!" When people share their hardcore rock collection I go: "What is with this music? All distortion and yelling?" And they come back with: "Well, that music that you listen to is just as senseless and destructive!"

And without hooks, I mean, nothing that a person's mind can grasp firmly and walk along with it. As an example:




The good thing is that I expand my musical collection all the time, trying to put in stuff that I've never listened to before in my life, new genres and new bands. Just recently I've been trying to immerse myself into rock music like never before, to catch up with the stuff that I missed while living in a world of only classical music and techno. Recently, I've been finding things that have changed my musical life by quite a lot.

I love music!
'til later... gotta watch the Endeavour space shuttle lift off, the last one done in the night!

Apologies...

I didn't post yesterday for NaBloPoMo!! X( This is bad...
But I do have an excuse. Yesterday night I fell sick, my worst nightmare at these times of poverty. So I forgot/couldn't get myself together to post something.
I just felt really bad.

Tomorrow I'll post what I had intended to post for the day that I missed.
See you tomorrow.

The shoegaze masters

Lately I've been looking into shoegaze, this branch of the rock genre that focuses on the manipulation and distortion of guitar-driven sound. Somewhat like rock gone funny with Brian Eno on drugs. It's the most interesting genre I've heard. Since I like ambient music, and since rock may sometimes not be my thing at times, shoegaze is that in-between phase of rock and ambient, with a hint of experimental and minimalism. Truly music that is out of this world, and which was completely ahead of its time in 1991.

That's it for today, I'm incredibly exhausted from yesterday's friend's gig. A truly new experience.

Awesome find...

///I know it has been more than a month since Christmas, but here it goes anyway. This is perhaps the most beautiful thing I've heard in quite a long time.///



These past months I've been living through a personal process of self-revelation, discovering the bright and dark sides of my personality and my bonds with the people that I know, love and hate.

Living on my own has given me a lot of time and space to reflect on my own being, as an entity of an ever-changing universe who happened to land luckily on the Pale Blue Dot suspended on a beam of sunlight we call Earth. And boy I'm happy of being here. :)

Naturally, it's been a hurdle to pull myself together now that everything is up to me. Everything. And that's where it gets interesting, because I suddenly realize the actual weight that my decisions have on the many aspects of my life. A single expression can change an emotion, a single handshake can strengthen a friendship, a single glance towards a beautiful person can create a new relationship. And all of those can have so many effects on my life in the future.

Sadly, I've come to realize how my own inertia (I'm a lazy person, I have to admit it) has held me from doing the things that now I wish I could have done. Nearly at 3 months after the HSC, I realize of the mistakes I have committed. I abandoned two friends that I saw as possible chances to have an intimate relationship with. I screwed up. I didn't get a scholarship to aid me through this tough first year at university, I was doubtful of my own ability as a human being when applying for them. One of the biggest scholarship programs had a ranking that I was predicting not to reach, partly because of fear of success, partly because I was unsure of how I could even do such an amazing thing. It turned out that my ranking was considerably higher than that threshold, so I missed out on such a huge opportunity. Shit, I screwed up. Now, I hope I can force myself not to commit such pathetic mistakes, for the sake of my life.

But at the same time, I realize just how fortunate I am. Firstly, I have successfully completed the HSC, which I had feared to be the biggest and most horrifying thing to happen to me in High School: super hard exams, incredibly awful stressing, just freaking out. It turned out to be quite a challenge, but far from being the nightmare I had imagined. Actually, I survived victoriously. Knowing that I came from a dark third world country into the wide blue yonder and do so well means so much for me, I feel so much more fortunate. I guess, more special. And now I'm going to study in university here in Australia. Superb!

I guess that there are always ways to counter some of the mistakes that I have done.
I guess that I can still have a wonderful life regardless of the silly mistakes that I make (it truly depends on the severity of those mistakes of course).
I guess I need to get out more often >_<

NaBloPoMo ----- START!!

So today I decided to begin a blogging project from the National Blog Posting Month community website.
Basically I'll have to post to the blog every day for a month. 30 days, 30 posts (Ah, I just realized that February is that month that doesn't have the same number of days like the rest). It shouldn't be a problem, but I might run into writer's block as I go. NaBloPoMo gives themes for each month, which is "ties" for February, that should give me a start. There is a badge on the sidebar regarding this project, so join in as well if you're a blogger yourself!

Hence, I declare officially started the Dot Counterpoint Dot NaBloPoMo 30 day 30 posts experiment!


Visit NaBloPoMo

Últimamente...

...he dormido entre 7 y 8 horas.
...le he tomado fotos a la Luna y a Marte.
...he sido como un búho, despierto hasta las altas horas de la noche.
...he estado más distraído que nunca.

Hay noches en que me vuelvo extrañamente activo. Me pongo a organizar mi cuarto para la mudanza a la universidad, otras veces simplemente leo algún libro que no parece a llegar a ninguna conclusión. Luego miro a la ventana y me doy cuenta que está a punto de amanecer. Y claro hay noches en que duermo y sueño muchísimas cosas.

Lo malo es que estoy solo. Hay algunas noches en que me encuentro reposado en la cama y con la mente super activa.
Me pongo a pensar de todo, o acerca de algo en particular.
Pero a veces entro en una fase heurística de análisis de mi propia persona.
Y ahí es cuando la cosa se vuelve en una de tres:
pienso en cosas positivas y me río y me revuelco en la cama con felicidad;
o hago una reflexión sobre mi presencia actual, es decir, sobre porque estoy solo en una cama diseñada para dos personas;
o empiezo a tener una guerra en mi interior, como si mi cuerpo se transformase en una masa cuasi-líquida y mis interiores se retuercen mientras se disparan señales por todos lados en mi cabeza, a punto de explotar.

Y luego mis sueños se vuelven cosas muy raras...
eso lo comentaré en otra entrada.

Mientras tanto, estoy pensando sobre cómo voy a mover unas cajas pesadas que tengo en mi cuarto. Va a ser algo muy complicado...