A few days ago my life changed forever.
I witnessed it transfer from the many possibilities I imagined with excruciating scrutiny, detailing all the emotions that would arise from such event and predicting an action plan of what would happen in the next months; all of them changing into a bright future.
To my own surprise, all those “negatively focused” predictions collapsed under the weight of the reality I unlocked from the universities admissions website. 9 AM. All my work at high school in Australia for the past 2 and a half years were summed up in the ATAR ranking I was awarded. My original predictions of such were once again quite negative, just barely enough to get into science at a good university. However, my ATAR rank is so high that I could get into the highly-sought-for design, commerce, medicine, social studies, art, business, even perhaps lower-end law courses.
A few days have passed, and it feels that it really didn't make a difference to the present. Maybe I haven’t felt it, it’s just been a few days. But I know I’ve been incredibly tranquil for getting such surprising results. Other people would be just jumping around like crazy, drinking or yelling in the streets of their success had they obtained my results. Really, I am actually surprised by how quiet I have been about it, not being excited about it, or even feeling proud for my success.
Why the hell am I not feeling proud about it, just 2 years after migrating to a new country, having to start from zero and integrate to the Australian society? Really, it is an incredible success. The biggest thing that has ever happened in my life since I arrived to this country. As I said, my life has changed completely. And even though I am consciously writing that, I still can’t feel it, it hasn’t hit me yet. D:
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