Oh, you've got green eyes.
Oh, you've got blue eyes.
Oh, you've got gray eyes.
And I've never seen anyone quite like you before.
No, I've never met anyone quite like you before.
New Order - Temptation
along with a background serenade of Bach's Air on a G String.
Last night was bad.
I knew it wasn't going to be a good night anyway, again that voice inside me protested and asked me to stay.
But I had never gone to such an event, so I decided to go. I held my head down low during the whole 3 kilometers we had to walk to get to The Palace. And oldie came by and tried to cheer me up, but understood that the situation was kind of out of his reach. After a single glass of beer, I decided to go out on the beach. I'm not drinking again for another week.
I don't think I had ever gone to a beach at night before.
People took their clothes off and dived in, then came back up to hug people. Meanwhile, some people gathered around for a chat, while in the distance we could see a few random couples (not from college) having some special time on the sand. Some people were thinking of running by to scare them off, but we asked them not to disturb the couples.
Well, it's not the first time I had ever seen such display of affection in a public place. Hah, I guess the first time was more of a surprise, considering that it was on New Year's Eve at frickin' Blues Point. I'm not going back to that place again, not in a loooong time.
I came back to college, and felt incredibly tired. I "passed out" on the common room, snored lightly for a bit, and apparently got up suddenly without saying a word, walked into my room, shoved the stuff on my bed to the side and fell asleep with the lights on. No, I wasn't drunk, even though that is the most common answer a drunk person would provide. I still felt really bad when I rose from bed at 8.30. And my room smelled strange. I think I was sweating profusely in bed, I might have had a nightmare or something. Or it might have been the clothes that I borrowed last night during the party. I can't remember clearly what happened the few minutes before I went to bed.
My body hates me now.
I guess I just need more sleep.
And I need to get more pictures up.
Showing posts with label adventures. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adventures. Show all posts
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
The worst night ever... at least for my conscience...
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I really hope that this night I can sleep well.
Because last night I was up until 3, smelling like cigarette and with the worst mood you could possibly imagine.
It was St. Patrick's Day, and as such people from around the place were more than happy to spend some money on alcoholic drinks. Fair enough. I never celebrate St. Patrick's because I just don't really get it, what the ultimate purpose of such day is, besides getting drunk.
Anyway.
It was past midnight, and I was just getting ready to go to bed. I was trying to do some homework, but my brain just wouldn't work. So I just thought of going to bed. But then I saw a couple walk into a bedroom, not to far away from mine. They were holding hands, and I just knew what was going to happen. It's one of those situations where you just need a single bit of information and you know on the spot what it implies and what is going to happen.
I was correct, but it all just went way too wrong.
Naturally, I could hear the action from two rooms away. A few bangs on the wall, a few sighs and yelps.
And then it started getting rougher. The girl actually started sobbing. Very. Loudly. And she hadn't even climaxed yet. Her voice began to break apart, changing from wailing, to screaming, to weeping, as if going from pleasure to pain really quickly. It was like chamber music gone completely wrong. It was unlike anything I had ever heard coming from a human being in my life.
To describe what I heard, to the extent of what my ability in the English language can offer to me, it was like every single particle of her soul and essence fragmented from her being, exploded and materialized into sound. It all then became the Guernica of sound when she got to the height of emotion.
I just sat on my bed, with my hands on my head, thinking "JESUS CHRIST, what the fuck has he done?!" Then, the sobbing stopped, and she started running. Running really fast, yelling muffled profanities. She cried and cried outside my room. I was shell-shocked. She ran by, banging on the walls and fell onto the ground. Then she got up again and ran back in to the bedroom.
I started looking for my cigarettes. I couldn't find them where I would normally place them. My mind was just becoming a storm inside, with extreme shock from what I heard and filling with anger for not finding my cigarettes. I had never really felt what being without cigarettes really was like until then.
I found them, in one of my clothes. At least there was somebody else comforting that girl, but she was still crying and yelling "I don't want to wake up!!! I don't want to wake up!!" Something really serious happened there, and I was an indirect witness of it. I heard it all. That is just absolute brainfuck.
To hell with everything, I said. I grabbed my cigarettes and lighter, donned my black hoodie, and walked outside. I couldn't see the girl nor the guy nearby, they must have gone somewhere else. I didn't care, at least I didn't want to come across them. I got out of the dorm and smoked two cigarettes. Another couple came by to have a smoke as well. I just minded my own business for a while outside, then walked back in.
Back in my dorm's common room, I sat down and just tried not to think about what happened. The guy came by and asked if I had seen the girl. I told him I didn't. Minutes later, the girl came by. And lo and behold, she appeared extremely calm, after such a storm within her being scared the hell out of me. I acted neutral to her, but inside I was going WTFISGOINGONHERE.
After that, I just went back to bed. I couldn't stand it anymore. I stank like cigarette smoke, I was tired, and very likely looked suspicious with a black hoodie and only boxers on. Goddammit. I hope I never get to hear those noises ever again in my life. Seriously. Just... dammit. I can't believe it.
You know what, I'm just going to bed. That night was just ridiculous, and my head is still in a wtf state after I saw both guy and girl today, they just seemed extremely normal, despite the savage events that happened last night. I can't even look at them in the eyes anymore. My conscience has been greatly corrupted and damaged, possibly for some weeks.
UPDATE: Both of them were completely off their faces. I'm not drinking any alcohol for two weeks.
I really hope that this night I can sleep well.
Because last night I was up until 3, smelling like cigarette and with the worst mood you could possibly imagine.
It was St. Patrick's Day, and as such people from around the place were more than happy to spend some money on alcoholic drinks. Fair enough. I never celebrate St. Patrick's because I just don't really get it, what the ultimate purpose of such day is, besides getting drunk.
Anyway.
It was past midnight, and I was just getting ready to go to bed. I was trying to do some homework, but my brain just wouldn't work. So I just thought of going to bed. But then I saw a couple walk into a bedroom, not to far away from mine. They were holding hands, and I just knew what was going to happen. It's one of those situations where you just need a single bit of information and you know on the spot what it implies and what is going to happen.
I was correct, but it all just went way too wrong.
Naturally, I could hear the action from two rooms away. A few bangs on the wall, a few sighs and yelps.
And then it started getting rougher. The girl actually started sobbing. Very. Loudly. And she hadn't even climaxed yet. Her voice began to break apart, changing from wailing, to screaming, to weeping, as if going from pleasure to pain really quickly. It was like chamber music gone completely wrong. It was unlike anything I had ever heard coming from a human being in my life.
To describe what I heard, to the extent of what my ability in the English language can offer to me, it was like every single particle of her soul and essence fragmented from her being, exploded and materialized into sound. It all then became the Guernica of sound when she got to the height of emotion.
I just sat on my bed, with my hands on my head, thinking "JESUS CHRIST, what the fuck has he done?!" Then, the sobbing stopped, and she started running. Running really fast, yelling muffled profanities. She cried and cried outside my room. I was shell-shocked. She ran by, banging on the walls and fell onto the ground. Then she got up again and ran back in to the bedroom.
I started looking for my cigarettes. I couldn't find them where I would normally place them. My mind was just becoming a storm inside, with extreme shock from what I heard and filling with anger for not finding my cigarettes. I had never really felt what being without cigarettes really was like until then.
I found them, in one of my clothes. At least there was somebody else comforting that girl, but she was still crying and yelling "I don't want to wake up!!! I don't want to wake up!!" Something really serious happened there, and I was an indirect witness of it. I heard it all. That is just absolute brainfuck.
To hell with everything, I said. I grabbed my cigarettes and lighter, donned my black hoodie, and walked outside. I couldn't see the girl nor the guy nearby, they must have gone somewhere else. I didn't care, at least I didn't want to come across them. I got out of the dorm and smoked two cigarettes. Another couple came by to have a smoke as well. I just minded my own business for a while outside, then walked back in.
Back in my dorm's common room, I sat down and just tried not to think about what happened. The guy came by and asked if I had seen the girl. I told him I didn't. Minutes later, the girl came by. And lo and behold, she appeared extremely calm, after such a storm within her being scared the hell out of me. I acted neutral to her, but inside I was going WTFISGOINGONHERE.
After that, I just went back to bed. I couldn't stand it anymore. I stank like cigarette smoke, I was tired, and very likely looked suspicious with a black hoodie and only boxers on. Goddammit. I hope I never get to hear those noises ever again in my life. Seriously. Just... dammit. I can't believe it.
You know what, I'm just going to bed. That night was just ridiculous, and my head is still in a wtf state after I saw both guy and girl today, they just seemed extremely normal, despite the savage events that happened last night. I can't even look at them in the eyes anymore. My conscience has been greatly corrupted and damaged, possibly for some weeks.
UPDATE: Both of them were completely off their faces. I'm not drinking any alcohol for two weeks.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Call me crazy
There are instances when you just realize what you are doing, you stop and call it quits. There are other times when you just keep on going on, pressing on, until you get what you want despite the discouragement from other people or the environment.
There are times when you just go crazy. And not always because of something, but also perhaps by someone. (It may not be a bad thing anyway) [no tl&dr here]
It happened to me one day that I decided to meet a friend, call him J, after a lecture, while another friend of mine, call her N, went over to the university's library to do some work.
I couldn't find J anywhere, he was just nowhere to be found even though he had given me a precise place to find him. So then I decided to go back to N, who was at the library. She had told me that she was going to be at a corner, somewhere, doing her work. Fair enough, so I thought. The library has plenty of corners but it should be easy to find her among the books and computers.
But I was so wrong. The library is about ten floors high, each floor almost identical to the rest. The furniture, the color palette on the walls and furniture, the book stands, the computers, the windows; all of them identical, as if the architects did Ctrl-C Ctrl-V all throughout the building. I went through the first four floors, investigating and searching through every corner of each floor.
At the same time, I came across some friends who I worked with while in high school, some whom I hadn't seen in years. I spent a few minutes talking to them while my dizziness evened out. But once I got up to the fourth floor, my head was spinning. Fast and Hard. No pun intended.
With my body sweating, I decided to call it quits and went outside. The cool air refreshed my mind, and in my madness, I decided to do one final thing. If it didn't work, to hell with the world and all, I would just go to my dorm to drink some really cold water and have bite or something. But that madness, that little flickering flame engulfing my chest and burning my mind, told me to keep on searching, despite the ridiculously minuscule chances of actually finding her in one of the thousands of corners that the library has to offer throughout its many floors and chambers.
What the hell.. I said. Let's just do it.
I walked to the nearest elevator and pressed ten, the highest floor that the elevator could possibly take me to. The guys in the elevator where possibly wondering why I was squinting my eyes so hard, while I held my palm against my forehead during the entire ride. Meanwhile, in my mind, I was telling myself: DUDE, just lemme find her!! I'm almost out of my mind here!!
Tenth floor, my head still spinning, and I was the last person to leave the elevator. I was amazed that there were actually people up in that floor, minding their own business like normal library-users. I guess they might have been wondering why on God a short-haired guy decided to charge in and walk furiously through each of the corners of the highest floor in the library with apparently no purpose.
I kept on searching. Nothing. Nope. Not there. Not here either. Ohh.. maybe? Nope, not her.
Finally, I had inspected the whole floor, except for one bit.
In my mind, two processes were running: If I didn't find her I would just gotten the hell out of the building and never come back again. But if I did, I would have exploded and the Pope would have come by and call this a miracle.
And just guess what, just seriously, what kind of trick was being played on me? Like.. OH MY GOD.. WHYYYYYYYY??!?!!!
There she was, on the edge of the room, at the uppermost floor, silently doing her work with such unperturbed tranquility which is only replicated in art and silence. She seemed like one of the most serene persons I had ever seen in my life. Well, I'd be damned. I mean, there she was, 100% herself! No fakes, no copies, no nuthin'. And there I was standing there with a whirlpool in my head, sweating and my heart in my throat.
I double facepalmed myself, while my brain was being crushed by a hammer inside my skull. I wasn't angry at her, not at all, but I was rather amazed by my determination to find her. I swear, I didn't know that I had such in me. Normally, people would quit from the first floors. But no, I did quite a lot of search and played dice with my last floor search.
If that was an act out of craziness, then I surely must have gotten it wrong. Something besides that must have kept me going. Maybe I'm just waaaay too crazy? Seriously, something interesting developed right there.
As for now, good night to y'all, keep on rockin'.
There are times when you just go crazy. And not always because of something, but also perhaps by someone. (It may not be a bad thing anyway) [no tl&dr here]
It happened to me one day that I decided to meet a friend, call him J, after a lecture, while another friend of mine, call her N, went over to the university's library to do some work.
I couldn't find J anywhere, he was just nowhere to be found even though he had given me a precise place to find him. So then I decided to go back to N, who was at the library. She had told me that she was going to be at a corner, somewhere, doing her work. Fair enough, so I thought. The library has plenty of corners but it should be easy to find her among the books and computers.
But I was so wrong. The library is about ten floors high, each floor almost identical to the rest. The furniture, the color palette on the walls and furniture, the book stands, the computers, the windows; all of them identical, as if the architects did Ctrl-C Ctrl-V all throughout the building. I went through the first four floors, investigating and searching through every corner of each floor.
At the same time, I came across some friends who I worked with while in high school, some whom I hadn't seen in years. I spent a few minutes talking to them while my dizziness evened out. But once I got up to the fourth floor, my head was spinning. Fast and Hard. No pun intended.
With my body sweating, I decided to call it quits and went outside. The cool air refreshed my mind, and in my madness, I decided to do one final thing. If it didn't work, to hell with the world and all, I would just go to my dorm to drink some really cold water and have bite or something. But that madness, that little flickering flame engulfing my chest and burning my mind, told me to keep on searching, despite the ridiculously minuscule chances of actually finding her in one of the thousands of corners that the library has to offer throughout its many floors and chambers.
What the hell.. I said. Let's just do it.
I walked to the nearest elevator and pressed ten, the highest floor that the elevator could possibly take me to. The guys in the elevator where possibly wondering why I was squinting my eyes so hard, while I held my palm against my forehead during the entire ride. Meanwhile, in my mind, I was telling myself: DUDE, just lemme find her!! I'm almost out of my mind here!!
Tenth floor, my head still spinning, and I was the last person to leave the elevator. I was amazed that there were actually people up in that floor, minding their own business like normal library-users. I guess they might have been wondering why on God a short-haired guy decided to charge in and walk furiously through each of the corners of the highest floor in the library with apparently no purpose.
I kept on searching. Nothing. Nope. Not there. Not here either. Ohh.. maybe? Nope, not her.
Finally, I had inspected the whole floor, except for one bit.
In my mind, two processes were running: If I didn't find her I would just gotten the hell out of the building and never come back again. But if I did, I would have exploded and the Pope would have come by and call this a miracle.
And just guess what, just seriously, what kind of trick was being played on me? Like.. OH MY GOD.. WHYYYYYYYY??!?!!!
There she was, on the edge of the room, at the uppermost floor, silently doing her work with such unperturbed tranquility which is only replicated in art and silence. She seemed like one of the most serene persons I had ever seen in my life. Well, I'd be damned. I mean, there she was, 100% herself! No fakes, no copies, no nuthin'. And there I was standing there with a whirlpool in my head, sweating and my heart in my throat.
I double facepalmed myself, while my brain was being crushed by a hammer inside my skull. I wasn't angry at her, not at all, but I was rather amazed by my determination to find her. I swear, I didn't know that I had such in me. Normally, people would quit from the first floors. But no, I did quite a lot of search and played dice with my last floor search.
If that was an act out of craziness, then I surely must have gotten it wrong. Something besides that must have kept me going. Maybe I'm just waaaay too crazy? Seriously, something interesting developed right there.
As for now, good night to y'all, keep on rockin'.
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