Me acuerdo...

muy bien de aquellos días que me parecían tan mundanos. Nunca pensé que llegaría a tales extremos del planeta, y que viviese todo lo que vivido aquí. Y yo que todos los días, de lunes a viernes, me fui por esta misma calle para crear el futuro que estoy viviendo tan intensamente en el presente. Ni idea tenía en aquel entonces.


Ver mapa más grande

A veces pienso que el pasado que tuve fue malo, y que por mis malos hábitos pasé una adolescencia muy limitada y lenta. Lo que nunca me imaginé es que por mis esfuerzos yo pudiera llegar a estas tierras lejanas, vivir como nunca y ser exitoso. Uno a veces no tiene idea del efecto que tienen nuestras decisiones hasta el momento en que llegan a toda potencia. Pues así es la vida.

The perils of a university student: update

Things have turned out ok now.
I am still worried about how it is all going to work in the end.
I've been allowed to stay back in college during the mid year break, so I have the convenience of being near the places where I am currently seeking employment during the break.

But I'll be having to pay the college fees back with whatever money I produce from those jobs. I might end up having to work two jobs, plus all the university workload.

Now, I think I'll just have to get someone to help me get my breath back. My mind just shriveled up with the ideas of being stuck alone, with no money. I'm glad things have worked out for the better.

Oh dear

My biggest fear has finally arrived.
And I'm quite unprepared for it.

Totally broke, with no home to return to. Parents hating me, and no source of income.
This end of session is going to be quite interesting.

Yo poseeré tu corazón

Lo sé

Sé que se ha adentrado, más de lo que yo me imaginaba, en lo que yo pienso, siento y vivo.
Este sitio sí que ha obtenido un propósito muy diferente al original.

Solo espero que me acepte tal cual y como soy.

Tal cual como yo la aceptaré tal cual y como es.

Estoy a punto de entrar a lo desconocido. Y  va a ser muy interesante.

No me importa si al fin y al cabo todo termina siendo un fracaso, como ha sucedido anteriormente. Esta vez he aprendido mucho, y aunque dolerá bastante, no dejaré que la furia y la tristeza me hagan inútil.

Lo que uno hace por el amor. Qué tan interesantes se vuelven nuestras vidas en torno a eso.

Esperen importantes cambios al sitio!

La verdad, no me lo esperaba

The sharpness of the air

is no clear announcement of the excitement

up ahead.


We come together,
and dance,
and laugh,
and sing.

And the world seems better everyday.



Spread your wings
in front of me.
Open up.

I knew you were an angel already,

everytime

as I watched

you

walk away

everyday
and disappeared from my sight,
but remained standing next to me
in my heart.

And the world seems better,
oh it just gets so much better
every time I see you.

Oh well

I guess the only thing that I don't like about winter here in Sydney is that the air just gets so dry. (I know it's not winter yet, but it's coming!!)

My hands get really dry, my skin becomes flaky and very fragile.
I will get really small cuts within my skin, and it will hurt.

I guess my skin is just accustomed to being enveloped by constant humidity.

Me pregunto...

Sé que cada una de nuestras acciones tiene un efecto, ya sea minúsculo o de gran magnitud, en el futuro.

Siento que algunas cosas que voy a hacer pronto van a cambiar el futuro.

Y de gran manera.

El problema es que mi mente se llenará de las casi infinitas posibilidades de cómo el futuro inmediato sucederá. Siento que mi cabeza va a explotar por sobrellenarse.

Sé que si todo resulta como todos deseamos, seremos felices. Y pasaremos todos un buen rato. Y en el futuro nos sentaremos a hablar sobre nuestro pasado y diremos: "Pues, estoy muy satisfecho y muy feliz por cómo resultó todo aquello, aquel momento, aquel instante en que me dijiste eso, o hiciste eso, en que todo el mundo cambió. Te lo agradezco sobremanera."

Sé que si no todo resulta como queríamos, aquello se establecerá permanentemente en nuestra memoria. Será como uno de aquellos recuerdos de tipo: "Oye, ¿te acuerdas cuando te dije eso? Me hubiera gustado si no hubiera hecho, o dicho, eso en ese momento, de tal manera. Lo siento.".

A veces puedo apreciar cómo las circunstancias del pasado llegan a colisionar en un mismo instante en el presente, y cómo pueden llegar a distorsionar el futuro completamente.

Lo que tenga que suceder, sucederá. No hay que temer.

You might not expect this, but

I really like winter.

The sharpness of the air to the skin, eyes and nose is quite revitalizing to me.
Coming from a tropical country, and from a place that was quite humid almost all of the time, I really like winter! It's just so great!

And you know what, Sydney would be such a romantic city if it snowed here. Of course, just about everyone here has no idea how to drive on snow or ice, so it would be rather dangerous and messy. It would be quite chaotic. Even in such chaos, life would still look beautiful from the outside.

I mean, just imagine, walking through George St on the way to CQ, and wearing a thick coat and a scarf, maybe a beanie or earmuffs, and mittens!, and seeing the snow on the side of the street, and snowflakes gently and ever so slowly falling from above, and steam coming out from our mouths as we speak, and couples coming out of cafes, holding hands and walking next to each other, and seeing the Opera House surrounded by snow, it would be so beautiful!!

Yet again, a lot of people don't like the idea of having Sydney covered in snow. It would be BAD news, considering how climate change is affecting the entire planet.

But it won't make me stop loving that particular season!

Perhaps the most evil techno music ever

I know a lot of people that would never talk to me again for posting this. I honestly do not like this particular kind of music (I love techno, but not of this kind of techno). Having to wake at 4.30 in the morning to this music induced psychological trauma to many of us in college, so the song has been burned into our brains. I think that it is a very tasteless piece of work. But my comments make no difference; these guys, The Bloody Beetroots, are insanely famous all over the world. And I do have to admit, this is a very good song to dance/rave to. But it is still a very evil song. Very evil.

In the many concerts they have played, they always see the same thing every time: massive crowds of people jumping in unison, like one single body. Now that is just insane but awesomely cool. The many youtube videos out there of their concerts are proof of it.

There is one thing...

... that I haven't been able to do recently.

And that is, to take good pictures!

It's not that I'm a perfectionist, just that I want to take better pictures. : /
I'm still kind of experimental, but I want to get my photo-vibe back!

The real part, or the imaginary one?

I've got this friend of mine;

She's one of the most intelligent and curious persons that I've ever met. Living away from the CRAZY environment of college which I currently live in, she's pretty much the most dedicated person that I've come across these past months. I learn from her, almost everyday, of how I should be doing things, and of herself.

I guess I'm just blind, maybe I'm just too distracted. Maybe I'm just not doing things right. She seems to be way ahead of me. And I feel guilty.

People tend to call me wise (as a side comment to the fact that I'm ancient), and really smart. But I tend to digress. I am just too negative, and I think way too much, too far, for too long. And I feel guilty.

So then I ask to myself, just as my friend had pondered and expressed (and from which I further analyzed and thought about),
if we are in university, why not work as hard as we possibly can? We were chosen to be part of this great institution for the fact that we are either very hard-working or gifted, or both. It is a bit unnecessary to surrender at the thought that we are bad students, pick up our bags and leave, when we can always do better than we do now. But why revolve around the thought that we are bad students, given that we've gone so far from high school up to here? Of course, it will make us realize that we have made some mistakes along the way and need to catch up. But it is silly to think that, even if we are doing very well, or just well enough, we are still doing badly. Who really knows? The middle range between a bad and a good student is separated by many shades of gray, which are not completely defined however still distinct from the extremes of the domain. Let us stop for a minute, get ourselves rid of the wrong ideas, organize ourselves very precisely and work hard. Seriously, work hard. Because from the work that we do, we are able to move further ahead from the herd, and nibble from the fruits of success. If we trip along the way, we must pick ourselves from the floor, dust ourselves off and pick up speed again. Life and success are up for grabs, why not be the one who grabs them first? We can still work and study our asses off, have the greatest time of our lives, do many things, be employed, fall madly in love, meet new people, pick up a hobby, learn some new skills, and still have our slice of cake.

Nobody said that success came from slacking off.
In any case, what is there to lose? It will be just so much to think in the future that our past efforts really summed up and helped us reach to where we are and enjoy our time here on Earth, than to struggle continuously to the end of the rat race.

The problem is that I have quite a lot of inertia. I am quite lazy >:( and it angers me sometimes.

I thank that friend of mine. I sometimes feel humbled in her presence, for she is my inspiration.
And as I may have mentioned before (or have I not?), I tend to ponder about her quite often. Go ahead, think whatever you want regarding that last comment. I DARE YOU.

'Nuff said! IMMA CLEAN THIS MESS NOW

Los fantasmas me persiguen

There are ghosts of my past life still appearing in my present life.

My mind sometimes evokes them from what I see everyday. The people I talk to, the people I see, the things I hear, say and do. Those ghosts live shortly in my consciousness and eventually evaporate.

But on occasions, I actually come across them, in real life, on the way to a lecture, passing by me. I don't know if they notice me, in fact I don't really care if they do. I see them, and the devils inside me laugh. I'd be damned, sometimes life sucks when I remember stuff related to them. However, sometimes life is great when seeing them reminds me of good times. It really varies depending on who I see.

And then I realize just how meaningless it is to feel put down by the mere presence of some of those ghosts. Regardless of the past conflicts I may have shared with them, those people cannot beat me. It doesn't matter if they aren't actually there, within my field of vision, even if it's just a mirage or deja vu. My mind lives so far away from them already, that they can't do anything. But then, my mind sometimes shows out the burden of past experiences related to them, and I understand. Whatever happened, happened. But the scars will remain there.

I guess those ghosts will continue appearing as I go through the years, reminding me of the good and bad things of life. Telling me of my mistakes and successes. Showing me that the world is actually much more complicated than I ever imagined.

God bless those ghosts, for they have constructed the person that I am today.

Peri to the neum

I shall not succumb to the devils raging inside me

As the night falls

and darkness is penciled into my eyes

the devils come out

and dance upon my flesh.

They rip my heart into pieces

and shred my box of emotions into fine dust.



Although there is a storm inside my head,

my body remains still, silent.



Only my hands are those in motion, grasping everything in their path:

hair

skin

nails

blankets

clothes.

As if they were trying to catch those devils.

As if my fingers were trying to find a meaning to all of this.



But eventually, the storms recede, and light enters my eyes once again.

And the world is at peace again.

I shall not succumb to the devils raging inside me.

Hey Guys

Sorry for being absent for a while, not uploading new pictures nor writing anything interesting lately.
I've been having the craziest week in quiet a while.
Details later.

Exams are on, so I won't be back 'til around the end of the weekend. Maybe.

Have your daily apple, drink your juice; have a good, fulfilling breakfast and stretch.
Best of all, smile and let the Sun kiss you.


Bye for now.

Humph

That was the most expensive week I've had ever since I moved over here.
$141 gone! BOOM! POOF!
Those parking rangers are a bunch of nazis, fining me at 9:11 AM, I wasn't even awake then! (oh wait, I actually was!)

Oh, dear. Now I hope CentreLink can give me a hand.

Physics exam

I have to kill it, before it kills me first.

>:D

Y tú, ¿qué piensas?

A veces me lo preguntas en los momentos más inesperados, de la nada.
Pero sé que tus intenciones son buenas, y sólo quieres saber más del torbellino de ideas que tengo en la cabeza.

Y te lo agradezco. Yo también me pregunto de vez en cuando qué es lo que tienes ahí adentro.

Yo guardo mis sentimientos temporalmente en una cajita de madera, justo a lado de mi corazón. La mayoría de las veces dejo que las emociones salgan de la caja al mundo exterior, y las comparto. Es bello verlos revolotear en el aire y a veces quedarse dentro de las cajas de otras personas.

Pero cuando me preguntas qué es lo que pienso, solamente puedo pensar en la caja y su contenido. Y luego me tengo que inventar una mentira ahí en ese mismo instante. Detesto mentirte.

De vez en cuando, cuando abro la caja, se siente bien porque sé que aquellos que escuchan son gente amistosa y amable.

Y tú, ¿qué piensas? ¿Qué es lo que tus ojos ven? ¿Qué es lo que tus oídos perciben? ¿Qué es lo que tu lengua saborea? ¿Qué es lo que tu piel siente? ¿Qué dice tu corazón?

Eres

Mr. and Mrs. Compost

Bibio is one of my favorite acoustic-electronic one-man bands in my collection.
And that's just a sample of his beginnings, when he worked with lo-fi technology and progressively merged onto fully electronic but experimental music. Really good stuff.

Oh! We love Philip Glass. We love Philip Glass. We love Philip Glass.

I just realized...
that I could use my music collection as a weapon to annoy people real bad. Philip Glass could make a real impact on the group (and my reputation), oh dear.

It's not that my music collection is bad. Philip Glass, among the other contemporary composers that I feature in my library (Steve Reich, Terry Riley, Hans Otte, John Cage, Arvo Part, etc.), is quite an incredible artist. But you need some serious heavy-duty mental gear to go through the entirety of his pieces, because they are absolutely NUTS. And not boringly nuts, but rather 'why the hell do you even listen to this?' kind of nuts.

It's a good thing, however, that some people in my group have heard of Philip Glass before.

sigh..

Back to work...

Ghhrrrr!!!

Exams are coming soon, and I'm very worried!!
Specially physics, I'm really really screwed! X( But everything else is all right. I guess I'm just being too negative, and I'm drinking too much coffee, which makes me think even more negatively (and strangely as well)!

Oh, the vicious cycles I put myself into.



And I hate ads that come in my comments! Random people just come by to drop in an ad as a comment..why????? It's a good thing that I can moderate and delete comments as I please. But Blogger will never be as cool as WordPress anyway (why did I just say that?).

Bye for now, for I have plenty of work to do.

New Addition!

Temporarily, I'll have the text cloud as my blog symbol instead of the fish-eye shot of the Opera House.

Of course, this is only temporary, although I might change the cloud layout and colors. New variations! That would be pretty nice, I guess. But then I'll have to choose a picture that will stay there for a long time.

This was done with the web app Tagxedo at http://www.tagxedo.com/ It allows you to create some pretty cool tag clouds from whatever individual text or text from a website you want. Go check it out.

Hasta pronto.

Another dream...

I slept for nearly 10 hours (god, I'm such a sinner) after working with a friend to work out a switch for an engineering project last night. It was a complete success.

I dreamt of being in Chile. CHILE. I've never ever been to that part of the world, although I'd like to go an visit some time. But somehow, I knew I was in Chile. And I remember driving over gravel roads in what seemed to be jeep of sorts. The view was amazing. The city looked very picturesque, and the people looked southern-american enough. And people talked in their corresponding chilean-accent. So I knew for sure that I was there.

However, in that beauty and charm, the people appeared sad and depressed. I remember talking to this butcher, who was a bit busy at the moment when I approached him, 'Sí, disculpa, le atiendo en un segundo' (Yes, I'm sorry, just a minute). I realized that when food appears in my dreams I'm hungry in real life. But that's not the point. Everyone around me looked really down and sad, even if they were living in an idyllic location. The butcher sounded really distant in tone, however was respectful and served me appropriately afterwards.

And later I came across a family of Americans, who were living their lives joyfully and without regard of anyone else. Of course, I approached a few of the family members and learned that they originated from a state that starts with M...Montana?.. Minnesota? Something like that. There were some kids there, and a bunch of guys in bright red and navy blue American football suits, with their helmets on, all ready to play. One of the kids there had a red flashlight, with my name on it! I then just asked her, 'Hey, that's mine, give it back.' I've never owned a red flashlight before, but this one in particular had my name written on labels all over it.

It seemed like the Sun was about to disappear into the horizon. It's that kind of feeling when the sky is bright but the Earth is dark, when the air is sharp and full of energy as if getting ready to let the night settle in. It was strange feeling.

Then I could hear beats, as those coming from dance songs, entering my dream. (people were playing music in rooms adjacent or near to mine).
I knew it was time to wake up, it was freaking late.
And I knew I was starving.


>>Unrelated, but today I just heard news that The Chemical Brothers are going to launch a new album on 7th June. I'm so excited!! I can't wait to hear what new sounds those electronic music masters have created, they never cease to amuse me album after album.

This world is pretty

Qué canción más bonita.

Para alguien especial

This is proof that there exists beauty and purity in the thin border between silence and sound. Despite there being no orchestra or anything major playing throughout the whole piece, making it minimalist in appearance, the subtle and few in quantity piano notes manage to evoke an emotion so deep into our souls unlike any other sound; it's just overwhelming.

Just turn any distraction away from you, shut your eyes and let the music carry you away through an emotional journey of sound.



If this isn't beautiful, then I don't know what is.
This was Fur Alina, by Arvo Pärt.

It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.

         Ricky Fitts, American Beauty (1999)

Why? + A history on my blogging

As an internet citizen, and as a person that likes to share things, I've been writing on several blogs throughout the years. Each of them carrying similar purposes, such as photographs or simply as a place for me to share my thoughts.

But on occasions, when I share my blog to people, they sometimes ask me a question that I am still very undecided on how to answer. They would see my blog and appreciate the content and all, and then they would ask why I blog. 'Why do you blog?' I've been blogging for about five years now (wow, 5 years) and it's kind of hard for me to actually look back and try to find a purpose to everything that I've done.

Why do I blog?

Blogging for me at first was a means for me to share, and as a way for me to learn more about the internet. Back in 2005, the internet was expanding exponentially and really fast, so I thought it would be awesome to actually have a website for myself. And so it was for a while. But my beginnings as a blogger were rather inconsistent, and it was hard for a while to be able to blog constantly. I just didn't have the proper flow of thoughts to keep on going.

My first presence in the blogsphere was with 'The Newoz Complements'. It had no real purpose, but rather it was a space for me to vent in during my angsty teenage years. I guess it was from me actually using the website so much, and how obscure everything eventually became, that I decided to create a cleaner version of my first blog. The new blog was 'The Seconds, the Times and Moments of Newoz' (yeah, Newoz is my internet alias). This time I decided to be much more flexible/accessible in my way of writing and actually having a proper purpose for the site. I got my first digital camera, so I started to upload a few pictures, at a very slow pace. The website still contained a lot of obscure terms and bizarre ideas and stuff.

It was only just before 2007 when I started to upload my pictures in larger quantities that I decided to start my first photoblog. I had gathered enough pictures to fill entire posts. Then I chagned 'TS,tTaMoN' to 'Meta-W', which is to this day my kinda main photoblog. I attracted the majority of my traffic into Meta-W and it was quite a great blog. But then I started to feel like actually sharing my thoughts, rather than just pictures.

As the HSC approached, I took less pictures, and I stopped uploading pictures to Meta-W. Instead, I opened a new blog, this same blog. The blog's title is inspired from three-piece works by Steve Reich. He had composed various variations of the 'Counterpoint' theme with 'New York Counterpoint', 'Electric Counterpoint' and 'Vermont Counterpoint', I think. They are all very unique and awesome works. The purpose of 'Dot Couterpoint Dot' was for me to not only share my photographs, but to also have a space where I could expose my ideas to everyone.

Anyway, 'Dot Counterpoint Dot' didn't take off full speed until nearly 10 months after its creation. I blogged in it every once in a while, and then went ballistic when the HSC ended. As of then, I've been blogging for the sake of sharing my thoughts and experiences with people, along with my photography and other things I've made. I guess I can also, in a sense, open up a bit with my blog posting. Of course, as some may have realized, that I've gotten a bit waaay too open here, exposing a bit of the depths of myself. But then again, consider that I've been living on my own, really alone, for four months. What can a man do with an active mind in a prison cell and only a piece of paper and a pencil? It nearly drove me mad.

So then, today, when people ask me why I blog, I can't still even define the purpose of my blogging. I guess it is for myself, to form my digital entity and to share my thoughts to the world. I've met plenty of people, had considerable amounts of traffic through my blogging years, but I don't think I've ever been so successful before now that I have 'Dot Counterpoint Dot' as my main blog. 'Meta-W' still has the really old posts from my second blog, so sometimes I look back and realize what a tool I was as a teenager hahaha, and what a bad blogger I was. I guess I could restart Meta-W, but I haven't been taking good enough pictures lately. I sort of lost my touch in photography :(

I wonder what's going to be my new frontier in blogging. I'm really happy with ".Counterpoint.", but I guess I could do a bit more things with it.

Ok, now my room's a complete mess. As the Sun moves towards the north as the winter months approach, I'll try to have a different room layout to harness solar heat.

Interestingly...

I am able to check from where some visits to my website originate from (button on the sidebar, has a graphic of a squiggly line around a blue sphere), and I am a bit amazed by how some people actually come across my blog.

One of the ways for people to find this is by a single Google search on a phrase in Spanish: "la mujer más triste del mundo". In English it means 'the saddest woman on Earth'. I've only used that phrase once in the title of one of my posts, back in 2009. I don't even know if that woman that I saw such a long time ago was actually sad, or was just having a rough day. I don't know.

But ever since I wrote that post, about +10 people from many places on Earth, mosly South America, have come to my website.

It's a bit strange having my blog found in a Google Search through such a depressive idea.

Problem...

Bad news guys, bad news.
A few dozens of posts ago, before I started this new chapter of my life in UNSW, I had a chest infection. It had developed from a bacterial infection that sparked a brief fever, and then pains in the thorax. I then had an antibiotic treatment, which seemed to be quite successful.

And it was all good and perfect until one day in the gym I realized my breathing pattern was very bizarre. I was on the treadmill and suddenly realized that my breathing, instead of being fast and rushy as it should be while running, was actually very slow, like normal breathing speed. But I would have to breathe in and exhale heaps of air. A med student, friend of mine, suggested I go to the doctor, in case the previous chest infection was still active and doing more harm.

I didn't go immediately. I had a pretty messy week and then had a cold, namely Fresher Fever. It went away relatively quick, but then I've had this cough and mucus problem. I don't feel sick at all, but I just cough up crap quite often. And it bothers me quite a lot since I cannot speak properly sometimes without first coughing.

I went to the doctor today and did the routine check up of the lungs and stuff. After some further analysis the doctor declared that I have pneumonia. Shit. The bacteria from last time were still very well and alive and messing up with my system, but even more. That explains the second cold, and why I'm still coughing.

This is really bad.

I'll be having further analysis, such as X-ray, to determine the severity of my affliction. And I will then go through the entirety of the treatment, which I think includes vaccines and antibiotics. But it seems pretty bad though. A month after the first infection is enough time for the bacteria to make a pretty bad mess of my lungs. We'll see how this develops. I just hopes it doesn't worsen and it doesn't interfere with my studies here at uni. God damn.

Yeah.
God Dammit. It's just ridiculous how one single thing can bring the future down to the ground.














HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY PEOPLE!!! I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!!!! XDDDDDDDDDDDDD
I actually have a resurgence of asthma, which I had for a while when I was a tiny tiny person with no judgment and a brain like a sponge. Not much of a problem for me, I'll just have to carry this puffer around, and yeah, but meh. :)
It's all good people! XD